the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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