so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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