That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
