Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
