and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
