We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
