jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
