I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was so not down for the gang bang
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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