He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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