im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
