you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
