And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
