Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
