I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
