We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
