I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
