the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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