You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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