ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
