i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
