Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
