i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
