Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
