Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
