We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's never too late to be topless.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
