Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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