let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
