i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just high enough for therapy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
