Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
