I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
