people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
