This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
