Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
