Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
