i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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