He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
