it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
