I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
