You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
