Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
