After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
