I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
