Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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