He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
