pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
