It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
