My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
