Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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