here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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