yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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