I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
