This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
