I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At least make sure they are 18
Why
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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